


I Can Be Your Lighthouse

by orpheous87



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Auror Harry Potter, Dark Magic, Developing Friendships, Drunk Sex, Dubious Consent, Eventual Happy Ending, H/D Wireless 2020, M/M, Poor Life Choices, Potions, Pre-Relationship, Recovering Draco Malfoy, Self-Esteem Issues, Substance Abuse, Supportive Harry Potter, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Vulnerable Draco Malfoy, implied suicidal thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:02:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24545083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orpheous87/pseuds/orpheous87
Summary: When Harry gets called to investigate reports of Dark magic, the last thing he expects to find is an almost unconscious Draco Malfoy. After multiple instances, he resolves to find out what's going on.inspired by the song The Lighthouse by The Used.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 10
Kudos: 99
Collections: HD Wireless 2020





	I Can Be Your Lighthouse

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to L for not only cheerleading, but betaing too!

_Now I'm at sea and I'm sinking  
No light that's leading me back to shore_

As his eyes adjusted to the darkness of the alley he’d landed in, Harry gazed around cautiously, his wand drawn. The air was damp and he could smell the rain that had only just stopped falling. He could also feel the Dark magic that had led to him being in the alley, it was just lingering in the atmosphere and Harry was instantly on edge. 

_"Lumos,"_ he whispered, before he began to make his way down the alley. He carefully avoided stepping in the puddles, doing his best not to make any noise at all. He frowned as the narrow light from his wand fell across a misshapen lump on the ground. Approaching the lump, Harry realised that it was, indeed, a person. 

As he moved around the person, he heard a distinct groan coming from it. He wasn’t yet sure whether it was a witch or wizard, but the Dark magic was certainly stronger here. Frowning again, Harry weighed up his options. He could approach them directly, but that would be risky. He didn’t know whether the person was likely to be aggressive or even whether this was all an act. The other option he had would be to put a temporary body bind on the person until he could determine whether they were dangerous. 

His attention was drawn back to the person by another groan and his mind was made up. Pointing his wand at them, he muttered _"Petrificus Totalus."_ Then, he tucked his wand into his belt and approached the person. Crouching down, he carefully rolled the person over and pushed the material of their cloak back over their head. Gasping, he jumped slightly as a very familiar shock of white blond hair appeared. 

_"Malfoy?"_ he exclaimed, taking a moment to look at his former school rival. After the trial, he hadn’t heard much of the Malfoys. Word had it that they’d become recluses, locking themselves in Malfoy Manor, but Harry refused to believe that. Just because he hadn’t seen them, it didn’t stand to reason that someone like Lucius Malfoy would hide himself away. Harry preferred the other school of thought, which was that they’d fled to their summer home in France. He pulled his wand out again, casting a quick diagnostic spell. He needed to determine whether the Dark magic hanging around was going to pose a threat. 

A moment later, Harry cancelled the full body bind and cast a revival spell, then he sat back and watched as Draco began to stir. 

Groaning, Draco pushed his hair back off his forehead and sat up groggily. Blinking, he looked around, his nose wrinkling with distaste as he took in the dank walls of the alley. 

Harry cleared his throat and Draco whipped his head around to look at him. 

“Potter.” 

“Malfoy. Care to tell me what you’re doing here?” Harry asked, raising one eyebrow. 

“Not particularly,” Draco muttered, closing his eyes briefly. “But I don’t suppose you’ll accept that answer will you?”

“Nope,” Harry replied, quirking the corner of his mouth into a half smile. “Sorry. I’m here in an official Auror capacity, sent to investigate reports of Dark magical activity in this area.” 

“I can’t tell you much,” Draco replied with a sigh. “I was pretty out of it.” 

“I assumed as much,” Harry said, holding back a sigh of his own. He knew from experience that if Malfoy was involved in something dodgy, he was very unlikely to drop his counterparts in it with an Auror. “Do I need to take you to St. Mungo’s?” 

Draco shook his head. “I’d rather you didn’t,” he said. “I’ve got everything I need at home. I can sort myself out.” 

“Alright. Where’s your wand?” Harry asked, standing up. 

Draco frowned for a moment, fumbling in his robes before finally locating his wand. “Here, why?” 

“I need to establish whether you’ve been casting any Dark spells,” Harry said, a hint of apology in his voice. “Protocol, you know.” 

Draco sighed and nodded in acknowledgement. “Alright,” he said, holding the wand out to Harry. 

“Thanks,” Harry said, taking it and placing it on top of a metal barrel that was next to a door he hadn’t noticed before. It was then that he realised they were most likely outside of a club. Without thinking any more of it, he pointed his own wand at Draco’s. _"Prior Incantato."_

He and Draco both watched as the ghosts of spells appeared from the wand that sat atop the barrel. After a few moments, satisfied that Draco was not the one casting Dark spells, Harry picked the wand up and handed it back. “Alright, Malfoy, you can go,” he said. “Just… be careful next time. Don’t get so drunk.” 

Draco got to his feet and nodded, stowing his wand back in his robes. “Yes, sir,” he muttered, before disappearing with a crack and leaving Harry to gaze at the door thoughtfully. 

Pointing his wand at the door, Harry cast another diagnostic spell to reveal an even stronger source of Dark magic. “Hmm,” he mused, before heading back down the alley to find the entrance to the club.

***

Over the next few weeks, Harry found himself being called to the same alley at least once a week. Each time, the situation was the same. Draco Malfoy, almost unconscious, in a heap outside the club.

The fifth time, Harry had had enough. His investigations into the club had turned nothing up. Everything inside was above board, making the situation even more confusing and all he knew was that one man alone had the answers, and it was about time that he gave them up. 

After casting _Prior Incantato_ and yet again revealing nothing more sinister than an engorgement charm, when Draco reached for his wand, Harry held on. 

“Potter, I’d like to go home now,” Draco said, frowning. 

“Not this time,” Harry said. “Why do I keep finding you like this? What’s going on?” 

“Nothing is going on,” Draco replied stiffly. “Now may I have my wand back, please.” 

Harry shook his head. “No. Malfoy, if you’re in some kind of trouble–” 

“I’m not in any trouble,” Draco replied quickly, before Harry could say anything else. “Really. I’m not.” 

“I’m finding that hard to believe,” Harry said. “This is the fifth time I’ve found you passed out in this alley. Believe it or not, I’m worried about you.”

Draco snorted, wrapping his arms around himself. “I’m sure you are,” he said. “And I’m the Minister for Magic.” 

“I’m serious,” Harry said. “This can’t be good for you.” 

“How would you know what’s good for me, Potter?” Draco snapped, glaring at Harry. “You, who’s had everything fall into his lap his whole life?”

Harry bristled immediately. “Excuse me? I don’t think having my parents murdered, then having to _literally_ fight for my life for my entire time at school is having everything ‘fall into my lap’!” 

“Do me a favour, Potter,” Draco sighed. “Don’t pretend to care about me. Don’t get involved. It’s not worth your time.” 

Harry paused, studying Draco’s face for the first time. The dark circles under his eyes and the gaunt appearance certainly told Harry that all was not well in the world of Draco Malfoy. “Oh yeah? Try me, I might surprise you.”

“No. I want to go home,” Draco replied. “I’m tired and I want to have a shower.” 

“Come back to my place,” Harry said abruptly, blinking in surprise at himself. He wasn’t sure what had possessed him to extend such an invitation. 

“What?” Draco said, his eyes wide as he stared at Harry. 

“Er… come back to my place,” Harry said, feeling his cheeks turning pink as he spoke. “You can shower there and then tell me what’s going on with you.” 

“I–” Draco began, before pausing. “Are you sure you want to know?” 

Harry nodded. 

“Alright,” Draco replied quietly. “I’ll come with you.” 

“You will?” Harry said, surprised. “I mean, good. Is Side-Along alright?”

Draco nodded, defeated. It was clear that it was pointless arguing with Harry when he was in this mood. 

“Alright, let’s go then,” Harry said, looping his arm through Draco’s and whisking them away. 

A few moments later, they were in Harry’s living room. 

Draco looked around as surreptitiously as he could, taking in the cosy decor.

“Bathroom’s upstairs, along the landing and to your left,” Harry said, showing Draco through to the stairs. “Go and shower and we can talk when you’re done.” 

Draco nodded wordlessly, making his way up the stairs.

Ten minutes later, Draco was back in the living room, perched awkwardly on one of the sofa cushions. 

“Here you go,” Harry said, coming back into the room with two steaming mugs of coffee and handing one to Draco. 

“Thanks,” Draco replied, accepting the mug and taking a sip. “Mm, that’s good.” 

“Thanks,” Harry replied, amused. “It’s nothing fancy. So… are you going to tell me why I keep finding you like that?” 

Draco took another sip from his mug before looking up at Harry. “Since I came back from France, it’s been hard. I don’t feel like I fit in anywhere anymore. I spend most of my days in the Manor, doing nothing. On a night, I have to get out. So I go to the club. I get blind drunk and then end up in a stranger’s bed. I’m never there the next morning though.” 

Harry frowned slightly. “That doesn’t explain the residual Dark magic that’s always around when I’ve found you.” 

Draco sighed. “No. It won’t,” he said. “I met someone. Someone who’s on the edge of being a Dark wizard, but isn’t quite there. He offered me something more than alcohol and sex. Something that would… make me forget.” 

“Forget what?” Harry asked, his voice not much more than a whisper. 

“Everything.” 

Harry blinked. “From that night?” 

Draco shook his head. “Literally everything. But it’s only temporary. When it wears off, everything comes crashing back,” he said. “Everything I’ve done, everything I’ve said… so I’ve been doing it more often lately.” 

“Why?” Harry asked, his brow creasing into another frown. 

“Because since you found me that first time, I’ve found myself remembering more and more and I hate it,” Draco said. “I hate it. I feel like everyone has moved on and I can’t. I feel like I don’t deserve to be free.” 

“You were cleared at trial,” Harry said. “Of course you deserve to be free. Ultimately, you were a victim too.” 

“No. Don’t do that,” Draco said. “Don’t make me think I could have a chance at a normal life. Potter… half the time I feel like I’m drowning, stuck in the Manor just counting down the days. Sometimes… sometimes I think it would have been easier if… if I hadn’t made it through the war.” 

“Don’t talk like that,” Harry said, frowning. “Haven’t you ever talked to anyone about this? Your… parents?” 

Draco shook his head. “I can’t talk to them about it,” he said. “They’re pretending none of it happened, I think. And I have no-one else.” 

“What about your friends?” Harry asked. 

Draco snorted. “What friends?” 

“Well, Pansy, Nott… Goyle?” Harry said, looking at Draco as though he’d gone mad. 

“Potter, I haven’t spoken to them since the trials,” Draco replied. “I don’t even know where they are.” 

Harry blinked in surprise again. He hadn’t known this and he found himself feeling quite sorry for Draco. “So that’s why you’ve been doing this… whatever it is?” 

Draco nodded. “Yes,” he said. “It’s a potion. And it helps.”

“But you keep being found in the alley,” Harry said, frowning. “How does that help?”

“Well, that bit is new,” Draco muttered. “I’ve had to take more of the potion lately to try and forget for longer. I’ve checked when I’ve got home, no-one has taken advantage of me. More’s the pity.” 

“Malfoy, that’s dangerous stuff,” Harry said, his frown deepening. “Anything could happen.” 

“That’s kind of the point,” Draco replied dryly. “It’s an escape.” 

“Surely things can’t be that bad that you don’t care if you get hurt?” Harry asked. He was not satisfied by Draco’s answer. 

“It’s not about getting hurt, Potter,” Draco replied. “Who do you think would want me? After what I’ve done, do you think I’d ever find someone willing to spend their life with me?”

“I–” Harry started, before stopping. He’d never thought about that. He’d just assumed that Malfoy would go on to marry a Pureblood girl, just as Lucius wanted him to. He’d never thought about what might happen after the battle. 

“Exactly,” Draco said, trying not to look smug. “So forgive me for looking for human contact wherever I can find it, even if it means I’m completely off my bloody face.” 

“I just… do you like living like this?” Harry asked. 

“Of course I bloody don’t! But a shag is a shag. It brings gratification,” Draco replied with a shrug. “Sometimes I don’t even see their faces. Or I might, but I never remember them.”

Harry shook his head, unable to believe what he was hearing. “Do they care? The women?” 

Draco snorted again. “Women? They’re no women, Potter, believe me. I have very little interest in _women_.” 

“Alright, the men then,” Harry said crossly. “Are they not interested in anything more than a… a drug-fuelled shag?” 

“It’s not drug-fuelled,” Draco said. “It’s a potion.” 

“Yes, a potion that practically renders you unconscious!” Harry exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. “It might as well be drugs! How is this any way to live?” 

“I do what I have to!” Draco roared, jumping to his feet. “I’m not _you_! I don’t have a list of potential life partners just waiting for me! I want to feel normal!” 

Harry looked up at him, blinking in surprise at the vehemence in his voice. He found himself speechless. 

“I just… I want to feel normal, Potter,” Draco said wearily, dropping back onto the sofa. “Like it was when I was a child. Before… before everything.” 

Harry swallowed, watching Draco carefully. Licking his lips, he sat forward. “Let me help you.” 

“You? Help me?” Draco scoffed. “How can you help me?” 

“I can be your lighthouse,” Harry said, without thinking. 

Draco snorted once more. “My what?” 

“Your… lighthouse,” Harry replied, somewhat lamely. 

“And what, pray tell, is a lighthouse?” Draco asked, a sneer on his face. 

Harry gave a sigh of frustration, though he knew it was silly to be frustrated. “A lighthouse helps ships find their way.” 

“I’m not a ship, Potter,” Draco replied with a sniff. 

“I know you’re not a bloody ship,” Harry said, tutting. “But _I can be your lighthouse_ , Malfoy. I can _help_ you. Why can’t you let me do that?” 

“What’s in it for you?” Draco asked, lifting his chin slightly. “Another excuse to have people sing your praises? ‘Oh, isn’t Harry Potter wonderful? Taking pity on the poor Malfoy boy!’” 

“Don’t be stupid!” Harry retorted. His eyes flashing angrily. “Malfoy, you deserve to have a life like everyone else. The battle is over with. Everyone’s moved on, and so should you.” 

“Don’t you think I want to? But like I said, how can I?” Draco replied, his voice tired now. “No-one will give me a chance. And no, I’m not talking about in the romantic sense now. I mean _no-one_. So why shouldn’t I just go out and get fucked up? It would probably do the world a favour, that way no-one would have to see me again and I wouldn’t have to see the disgust on people’s faces as I pass by.” 

“Malfoy, please…” Harry said pleadingly. “You’re better than this.” 

“You’re the only one that thinks so,” Draco muttered. “Everyone else would be glad to see the back of me.” 

“No, they wouldn’t,” Harry said softly. “I know they wouldn’t. You just need to give them a chance to prove it.” 

“Why would I do that? It’s never got me anywhere in the past,” Draco sighed. He looked at Harry. “I’m tired of getting my hopes up. It’s easier to do things my way.” 

“But you don’t have to,” Harry said softly, holding Draco’s gaze. “Really.” 

“So,” Draco said. “If you were my… lighthouse? What would that mean?” 

“It would mean that… well, that you could come to me if you were feeling… lost,” Harry said slowly. “And I’d do my best. To guide you.”

Draco nodded thoughtfully. “I see. And why should I agree to it?” 

“You don’t have to,” Harry said. “But if you did, I’d make sure people give you a fair chance.” 

“And what if I’m more… lost than you thought? Unsaveable?” Draco asked softly, looking down at his hands. 

“No-one is unsaveable,” Harry replied. “Not anymore.” 

“How can you be sure?”

“I can’t,” Harry said. “People have to want to be saved to enable them to actually _be_ saved.” 

“I can’t promise it’ll be easy,” Draco said. 

“Sometimes, the best jobs are the hardest ones,” Harry replied, giving him a small smile. “And the hardest ones are always the most worthwhile.” 

Draco’s cheeks turned a light shade of pink. “It would be nice to be saved,” he said quietly. 

“I’ll be happy to be help,” Harry said sincerely. “But, for me to help you, I need you to know that I’ll have to start an investigation into the wizard who’s been giving you this potion. I know you say he’s not quite a Dark wizard, but the fact that the magic is dark in nature means we need to investigate. We need to know whether this is something to worry about on a larger scale.” 

Draco looked down again, jiggling his leg slightly, but then he nodded. “I understand,” he said. “He, er, he won’t find out it’s because of me, will he?”

Harry shook his head. “No,” he said. “We’ll keep your name out of it.”

“Thank you,” Draco said, nodding. 

“It’s possible that he’s got ulterior motives for supplying these potions,” Harry said. “That’s what we’ll find out. In the meantime, we need to get something for you to focus on so that you don’t feel like you need to go out and do all that.”

“Good luck with that,” Draco snorted. “No-one will give me a job, I’ve tried.”

“You forget who you’re talking to,” Harry smiled. “I have a bit of influence at the Ministry. What did you see yourself doing for a job when we were at school?”

“Well, I always wanted to be a Quidditch player,” Draco said, frowning slightly as he thought. “But that’s not possible now. I’m well out of practice.”

“Alright, well, was there anything else?” Harry asked, watching Draco. 

“I enjoyed Potions,” Draco shrugged. “I sometimes thought about becoming a Potioneer but seeing as I never completed my N.E.W.T.s, I don’t think that’s an option either.”

“But have you kept studying?” 

Draco nodded. “Of course,” he said. “There’s not much else to do in the Manor during the day.”

“Anything else?” Harry asked. 

“I don’t think so,” Draco replied, his frown reappearing. “I always got decent marks in Charms…”

Harry smiled again. “I think we might have something for you in the Ministry. We’re always on the lookout for Potions experts. You might not have a N.E.W.T in the subject, but I don’t think anyone would dispute your ability. I’m almost certain that there’s an intern post available, if you’re interested? It doesn’t pay, obviously, but it would get you a foot in the door.”

Draco nodded hesitantly. “I’d like that. But how can you be sure they’ll want me?”

“Let me talk to the Minister and the head of the department tomorrow,” Harry said. “I’ll explain what the situation is and I’m sure they’ll be happy to have you.”

“Potter…” Draco started, before finding himself lost for words. 

“Don’t thank me yet,” Harry said, shaking his head. “This is just a start. We’ve got a long way to go.”

Draco nodded, taking a deep breath and looking up at the ceiling for a moment. 

“Right. Well, it’s nearly midnight,” Harry said, looking at the clock. “Do you want to go home or would you like to stay? The spare room is quite comfortable.”

Draco licked his lips as he considered Harry’s offer. “My parents won’t know I’m not home,” he said after a moment. “Would it be alright if I stayed?”

Harry nodded. “Of course,” he said. “I’ll get Kreacher to make up the bed for you.”

“Thanks,” Draco replied, his voice slightly hoarse.

“It’s no trouble,” Harry replied. “All I ask is that you give this one hundred percent. _Prove them wrong_. This can open doors for you, I promise.”

Draco was silent for a moment. “Why are you so willing to do this for me? I was hardly your best friend at school.” 

Harry shrugged. “Like I said, you’re better than this,” he said. “It would be wrong for all your potential to go to waste because of prejudice. We might not have got along at school, but I wasn’t oblivious to how well you did in lessons.”

Draco flushed slightly. “You paid attention?” 

“A bit,” Harry said, grinning. “Or rather, Hermione did and then she told me and Ron, whether we wanted to know or not.”

Draco gave a snort of laughter. Then, his expression turned solemn again. “Seriously, Potter… thank you. I don’t think I fully understand your reasons, but I do appreciate this. I’ll do my best to make sure your trust in me isn’t misplaced.”

“I have no doubts,” Harry said. “Now, I think your room should be ready if you’d like to go up? I should have some pyjamas that would fit you if you want?” 

Draco shook his head. “No, thank you, it’s alright,” he said. “I’m fine sleeping in my underwear. How is my room ready? You haven’t spoken to anyone.” 

“I didn’t need to,” Harry said. “Kreacher will have heard our conversation. Let’s go up and I’ll show you your room.” 

“Alright,” Draco replied, standing up. “Lead the way.”

***

“Malfoy! How are you getting on?” Harry asked, catching Draco’s eye as they met in the Ministry canteen. It had been three weeks since Harry had found Draco in the alley, and Draco had been working at the Ministry ever since. Kingsley had been unsure about the appointment at first, but Harry had convinced him that it would be worth it. The investigation into the club and the wizard supplying the potions had ended with Harry arresting him after discovering detailed plans to use Draco to rob Malfoy Manor.

“Alright, I think,” Draco replied, waiting for Harry to catch up. “It’s very interesting work. I’m enjoying it.” 

“I knew you would,” Harry said, smiling. “I didn’t want to ask too soon. Thought you might need a little while to get into it.” 

“I appreciate that,” Draco replied. “I did wonder why you hadn’t asked me when I’ve been at your place.” 

“I thought there were more important things to talk about,” Harry said. “Not that this isn’t important, but you know what I mean.” 

Draco nodded. “Yes, I do,” he said. “And I do appreciate it. Finding my feet was hard. I haven’t been used to doing things like this for a while. I actually quite like it.” 

“I’m glad to hear it,” Harry smiled. “I’m glad you’re settling in.” 

“Thank you,” Draco said. “For taking a chance on me. I was, um, I was wondering…” 

“What?” Harry asked. 

“Could I take you for a drink?” Draco asked quickly. “To show you my appreciation properly, you understand.” 

Harry chuckled softly, nodding. “I’d like that,” he said. “As long as we don’t go to that club.” 

Draco snorted. “Not a chance,” he said. “I have no desire to set foot in there ever again.” 

“Good,” Harry smiled. “I’m glad.” 

_I can be your lighthouse  
I can be your lighthouse  
I can be your lighthouse  
I can be your lighthouse, your lighthouse_

**Author's Note:**

> 🎵 This work is part of H/D Wireless, a song inspired, anon, Drarry fest with its home on tumblr! 
> 
> If you enjoyed this, shower our content creators with all the love you have to give by leaving kudos 💗 and comments 💌 on their work!
> 
> [Check out the fest tumblr to find even more works and daily updates!](http://hd-wireless.tumblr.com/)


End file.
